Denise's Journey

From Denise's Journey: 

Why Me?
I think the first thought people have after hearing the words, "You have cancer" is, "Why me?" The truth is, for many of us, there is no answer to that question. And it doesn't really matter why or how. You have to learn to accept that it just "is."

I never expected to have cancer of an sort, but especially not breast cancer. No one in my family has had it, so I'm immune, right? Wrong! OK, so I have it. But I will fight it and I will win. I intend to share my thoughts and feelings with you all. And my journey through the crazy, busy world of tests, doctors and treatment.

I should have started this earlier, but I have had computer problems including no internet at home, and two non-working computers. I am now officially blogging from the library's computer. Thank goodness for the library. It is my sanctuary. I scooter (mobility scooter) a mile each way to and from the library on every day that I have off from appointments, and even some days after appointments. It's summer, and the Summer Reading Program is underway, so when I am home, I spend much of my time reading.

I am being positive about my plight. I am not going to let cancer get to me. I decided not to do a lot of research. I made a conscious effort not to look at statistics. I think we can get bogged down with too much information and too many numbers. Statistics are just that, statistics, averages. It does not mean that you will die. I look at it this way: Either I will survive or I won't. there are only two ways about it, and I am going to do whatever I have to do in order to survive.


Am I An Experiment?
A few days ago, I went for "chemo training." You know, what will happen, what to expect, that sort of thing. I was told I would be on a combo of chemo and Herceptin for five months, then surgery to remove any cancer that survives, then seven months of Herceptin alone. My oncologist told me I would be on chemo for a year with only five months of the Hercepin. So, which is it? I don't especially like my oncologist, don't feel that she's listening to me or my concerns. I told my friend of the treatment plan, and he said that protocol makes no sense, chemo is never given for such a short time. Which leaves me wondering, "Am I just an experiment to them?"