"Welcome Home"

"Welcome Home (Sanitarium)"

"Welcome Home (Sanitarium)" is what I listen to when I'm really sad, angry, frustrated. Eventually, it makes me feel better.

Do you ever realize that your life is shit and it just never seems to get better? Nothing I do ... ever works. Sometimes I think things are starting to turn but then, something happens ... or someone ... and they say they can or will help, but they never really do. What's worse, they make things worse than they were before. There was a time when I thought it was going to be better, or at least OK. But it's not.

I don't often detail my problems, and it's hard to know how much to say. I want/need some privacy but I need help. I don't know anyone who can or will help. I know my fucking family won't help me. I don't think my friends can help. I'm trying to get SSI, I can't work. My mind is so "somewhere else" that I can't concentrate. It's so hard to try to write. I mean a book. Ever since the cancer, the right words don't want to come. It's too muddy. I want to do things, I want to write. I need (and I do mean NEED) things, money, to survive. I wanted to create a GoFundMe campaign, but I don't have any income, so I don't even have a freaking bank account or credit/debit card, and they require one. Some people owe me money (I did NOT lend them money) that I'll never see.

It's so frustrating. There are things that I need to do, and I can't physically do them. It's a matter of my health, and my sanity, but what do I do? If I'd known my new caregiver/assistant was blowing smoke up my ass, it would have been easier to deal with a month ago, but she said she knew people who could help. So I waited for the help that never came, and never comes. Now, it's 100+ degree days, and I can't sleep. How would I possibly have the energy to do things, move furniture, etc., when I can barely get off the couch, and I am exhausted from the heat and lack of sleep?

Aaaaarrrrgggghhhh!!!! I need help!

Mug Cakes

Several people asked for my mug cake recipe. In truth, I found it on the internet. There's a note at the bottom that it's from the Food Network. I mostly just toss stuff together in approximate amounts. Oh, and the microwaved cakes will be molten hot when they come out, so give them a chance to cool a bit.

I hope you have good luck with the recipes. The mug cakes are so good when you just want a little something sweet and don't want to make a whole cake.

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Original Chocolate Mug Cake recipe:

1/4 cup flour
5T Sugar
2 T cocoa powder
1 egg
3T milk
3 T veg oil
Dash of vanilla
Dash of salt

Mix all together, microwave until puffy, about 2 minutes.

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Again, I toss stuff in, amounts are approximate. Please read notes below before you start.

My Mug Brownie recipe

In a large mug (12 oz or more), beat an egg*
Add:     a splash of vanilla (1/8 tsp?)
    2 - 3 Tbsp soft butter or oil, or mix it up
    1/4 cup sugar
    dash of salt
Beat vigorously

Add 2 heaping spoons (about 2 Tbsp total?) cocoa powder and beat.
Add a bit of baking powder (1/8 tsp?) and enough flour to make it thick like brownie batter. I just add a few Tablespoons at a time, I never measure the flour.

You can add nuts, I usually throw in some walnuts. Or add chocolate chips, whatever you like.

Microwave on high for 1 minute to 1 1/2 minutes. I start with 1 and add 30 seconds if needed. The top will look wet even if it's cooked, so don't let looks fool you. 1 1/2 minutes is plenty of time, usually.

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NOTES:

*You can use the whole egg, or dump out half (or double the recipe except for the egg and divide the mixture between 2 mugs) since it's more egg than in a traditional recipe.

If you add nuts, you need to cook them for a minute (on a dish) before you add to the mixture, since they won't cook enough during the "baking."

I suggest you try it once as written, then change up the next time if you want to.

More egg=tougher, denser batter.
More oil/butter makes it more gooey.
If it's too dry or tough, use less flour.
I like mine extra chocolately, so I use lots of cocoa.


A note about cocoa: I have Hershey's cocoa (makes yummy chocolate milk) AND I have good baking cocoa. I recommend using baking cocoa, it just give it a richness the Hershey's doesn't. But sometimes I do use the Hershey's. I wonder how the Hershey's Special Dark cocoa would turn out?

Taste your batter before you cook it. If it's not sweet enough, now is the time to add more sugar. I've made a few that were bitter because I didn't use enough sugar. Then you have to add some icing or chocolate syrup or something.

Remember, microwaves and humidity can make a difference, so be aware of that.

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My Vanilla Cake*

1 egg
1/3 cup sugar
1 1/2 Tbsp soft butter
1 1/2 Tbsp oil
about 1/2 tsp vanilla
Beat well, until well blended.
Add Bisquick, start with 1/2 cup and add more if needed
Beat well (should be very thick)
Add enough milk to make it cake batter consistency.

Put into oiled and floured pan (an 8" or  9" round should do), and bake at 350. It took about 30 mins for me, but start checking after 20. I'm in a high altitude, so it affects baking.


Be sure to taste the batter. If the batter tastes bad, the cake will, too. You can't change the flavor after it's cooked.

*This was made in the oven, but you could probably microwave it. If you microwave it, I would use less milk or omit the milk and use a little less Bisquick. And be aware, this makes a lot of batter, more than for a mug cake.

Notice there is no salt or baking powder, because it's in the Bisquick. I trusted the ratio would be better if I used the Bisquick. It gave the cake a nice, soft texture.

If you want to make pineapple upside-down cake, like I did, don't flour the pan. Melt some butter, about 3 Tbsp?, in the pan, sprinkle with enough brown sugar to cover the bottom of the pan, then put pineapple on top of that. I had rings, so I cut them up, but you can use whole rings or crushed, whatever you have on hand. Then add the batter and bake.

The Mysterious Trixie Belden

As some of you may know, I am a reader. I frequent the local library so much so that most of the librarians know me by name. I nearly always have multiple books checked out. One of the services of the library is the inter-library loan. An inter-library loan is when the local library system doesn't have a book in its possession that you would like to read. They send a request to other libraries to borrow the book.

Back in June, I wanted to check out some books in the "Trixie Belden" series. I had read a few of them when I was a teenager. The local library only owned two of the books in the series of thirty-nine, so I requested the rest of the books in the series. A few at a time, the books came in, some from as far away as New York state. The book series is about a group of teenagers, centered on Trixie Belden, an amateur detective, and her best friend, Honey. They are an easy read, intended for young teens.

The first book, "The Secret Of The Mansion," came out in 1948, long before I was born (the year my mother was born!), so the early books can be a bit hokey, and very innocent. Some of the later books were written in the 1980s. But they are sweet and the characters are kind people who continually do good things for others, including raising money for UNICEF.

At the beginning of January, I received the last two books in the series. You would think that would be a good thing. You would be wrong. While I love the series as a whole, and most of the books in it, the final two books were a big disappointment. All of the books after the first six were written by staff writers under a pseudonym. The author of the final two had obviously never read any of the books in the series, and boy, does it show. He/she included many inaccurate details, including the names of the horses the kids ride. Trixie's brother, Mart, likes to use big words, and in the final two, his fun banter is noticeably absent.

In book #38, one of the key characters (Jim) was off at a summer camp, while the rest of the main characters were all included. Since Jim is Trixie's love interest, it was so disappointing that he was excluded. In #39, the final book, Trixie and Honey are on vacation without any of their brothers or friends, so the finale was disappointing, not getting to "say goodbye" to the friends we've grown to love. I realize they probably didn't know at the time that no more books would be written, but the fact that the author apparently didn't care anything about the books or series and integrity of the series is just disappointing.

If you are, or have, a teenage girl, I recommend borrowing a book from the library and starting to read the series. But I wouldn't blame you if you chose not to read the final two.

List of Trixie Belden Books

The Liberal Atheist

Please visit my Facebook group
The Liberal Atheist

Faith vs. Science

As is often the case, I've been having an argument with religious relatives. Seriously, does it ever end? The crux of the issue is religion and politics.  I am, of course, an Atheist Democrat, where they are religious Republicans. I am not afraid of a fight, but the thing is, ignorance abounds. When asked a direct question, they can't give a real answer, because they don't know the truth of the matter, and have no interest in learning it. One even said to me, "You must not watch Fox News." Of course I don't. Fox News isn't a news company. It's an entertainment company. And they admit they lie to their followers, and they are under no legal obligation to tell the truth. I didn't make that up. Fox actually said that.

I know I should be above it, but it just really irks me when people (relative or not) troll my page and can't put up a reasonable argument, then give each other verbal "high fives" for (apparently) putting me in my place. But they didn't actually win the argument. They think they did because they don't know the difference between fact and fiction. And I sit here, shaking my head, because it's so frustrating arguing with someone who ignores fact and chooses ignorance. I mean, come on, at least TRY to learn something new. JUST TRY. You can't actually be that stupid.

Here is a lesson about fact and fiction:

Faith:  firm belief in something for which there is no proof

Science:  a systematic enterprise that builds and organizes knowledge in the form of testable explanations and predictions about the universe.

Fact:  a thing that is indisputably the case.

Fiction:  a belief or statement that is false, but that is often held to be true because it is expedient to do so.

Just because you believe in something, does NOT make it true. Facts and science are truths that can be proven. Just because you don't understand science, doesn't mean it is wrong. The facts are the facts that can't be changed. Science challenges what we believe and either proves it to be true or false. Science and Faith have nothing to do with each other. (This was a point one of them made, wrongly.)

Believe it or not, I'm trying to help them learn. I know it's in vain, but I must try.

Facebook Groups or Fascist Groups?

I'm getting really fed up with a lot of things lately. Facebook groups are one of my big pet-peeves at the moment. I was a member of a group where people share ideas and help each other (not going to give them publicity by giving the name). I really enjoyed the interaction with the other members and I was quite active. Then one night, a discussion started, about hot dogs, of all things. Which ones are the best, etc. There was a lot of discussion, more than you'd think, and it got a little heated. One person said Bar-S were the best. I disagreed, stating they are the garbage of hot dogs (they sell for less than $1, so you know they aren't a quality product, for Pete's sake). The woman just kept on about it, so I posted a ranking of hot dogs done by some organization, showing that Bar-S are literally at the bottom. I said you can love the garbage, but it's still garbage. The next morning I went to see what new comments had been posted overnight. The post was gone. I posted a question asking what happened to the post. So I got banned from the group permanently. Nothing was ever said to me, I was simply blocked. I suspect the woman who was complaining must have been a good friend to the moderator, but I'll never know.

I am a member of another group, where free items are offered. I posted some items (to give away free) and soon after, I realized I couldn't post anything. I had gotten blocked for 24 hours.

I am getting really fed up with arbitrary rules and how do you know when you've broken one? Most are up to interpretation. I understand they need rules, but unless someone is abusing them, wouldn't a warning be sufficient, especially for a new member and a first offense? Now I am soured on this group, and as soon as I've given away my items (that I've already posted), I plan to leave.